Predictions for the weekend ahead.

I am the proud owner of the world’s weakest immune system. I have to be. After all, it’s quite miraculous that I’ve survived to 27 – my god! Absolutely everything health related has been downhill since the beginning of may.

Yup, im sick, again. Feeling stuffy and congested. Worst part is that I sound like a toad. I’ve always believed that when I’m sick I sound like one of ‘em. Ribbit Ribbit.

Okay, so toads are supposed to be these creatures with the hidden potential of transforming into prince charming – in my fairy tales at least. Using a kiss as a catalyst that is.

And yes, fairy tales are 1% make believe and 99% real&for sure. So it’s inevitable that I believe in them. I mean, that’s a better statistic than condoms offer.

But really, come on people – who would kiss a toad?
On the lips? Okay maybe a few times – in past lives
In the hopes of what? - (of not being single on valentines day)
A man that will eventually return to his former self by ways of attitude or physicality?
I don’t think so peepz.
I for one, don’t kiss toads (anymore).
However it’s quite tragic that I do manage to sound like one.

This weekend will be filled with bliss.
Here’s why.

I’m hopefully going to have a mindblowingly hot date with M tonite. Something about a movie, some din din (which now works out to be a whole wheat bagel or couscus) and some straight up lovin’. Well a girl can hope innit? I won’t be able to breathe mind you, courtesy of my congested sinuses. But who needs to breathe during the act – I mean, its supposed to be breath-taking no?

Although, I recently discovered that respiratory droplets have the endurance of traveling up to 3 feet. Yup, so when you’re on a bus and somebody sneezes across you – you just got sprayed with their germies. Germies that cause all sorts of diseases like E.Coli and Salmonella (to name a few). So perhaps I won’t be splashing M with my flu-droplets although with that boy – he never listens. He takes it quite personally (and offensively) when I refuse to share my sickly germs with him. C’est la vie!

Then Saturday – after a blood test (the fasting variety) yup requires me to give up food for 12 hours – R, R & I head out to S&Magic’s wine labeling/bottling event. Oh my god! They’re getting married in less than 2 months. That’s crazy. It’s scary and overwhelming and just so god darn adorable. I mean, S is gonna be a Mrs. I think I need a few moments to actually internalize all of that. But tomorrow will be loads of fun.

Sat night: my uncle’s birthday bash. N (my cousin and alibi) has decided to get married – in Sri Lanka in August. Yup, August of this year. We had a pact you see. We’ve both been using each other as covers. Each telling people that we’ll get married once the other one does. Well, the rat, went ahead and fixed his date without consulting me. I’m happy for him and stuff but really – what about me?

And me? Tomorrow night, I’ll the one scurrying away in the hopes of avoiding all the “oh it’s your turn now, when are you going to get married?” –esque questions. I actually despise them as I’m sure most adult women do. Initially it was – ‘why don’t you stay with one man for longer than 3 months” – now that I have. The argument has flipped itself and has become a whole new monster, “what’s wrong with M, why doesn’t he want to marry you?”

And I keep wanting to scream – god damnit! It’s not just him. It’s me too. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to leave the safety of my home. Definitely not ready to become ultimately responsible for another human being. Not ready to be a full fledged adult with real life responsibilities. Not ready to deal with Mississauga on a full time basis. Im just not ready people!

But I don’t vocalize these thoughts. I nod. Laugh. Giggle often and much. And cross my fingers and wish that time would fly. I console myself by tuning out the chatter. I actively fight their words in my head and remind myself that:

~I will get married. Hopefully to M. It will be my turn. One day. And that day will happen when we’re both absolutely certain and ready. Whenever that may be. ~

And Sunday – will be bliss. Nothing but pure chillaxing and recovering from the night before. I love my extended family but sometimes, I look around and realize that there’s got to be more than just this. Most discussions quickly deteriorate into friendly mud slinging matches where someone picks on someone and makes said someone feel shoddy for not following the invisible time table.

I keep reminding myself that when the three of us grow up –our family gatherings are going to focus on three things:
Love
Support
Encouragement

And the mud-slinging – we’ll do that in jest in the privacy of our own spaces.

It’s 3:32 and I am bored.
I can’t stand having nothing to do.
Being sick doesn’t help the situation.
I feel like a caged beast – my mind is turning on me!

I need some sugar. Oh yeah, I forgot. I can’t have that anymore.

Grrrr.