Involuntary sabbaticals

Sometimes life has a tendency of throwing you a curveball...well apparently life didn't get the effin memo. It's one at a time hombre.

My disappointment has bled into the fabric of my life - work is hectic (good, draining, impossible to part from and exhausting), life is well life (S's wedding, Merl's nagging, too many commitments and not enough god dang time to fulfill em all) and my health - quickly deteriorating. Yup, guess who didn't get the flu shot and regrets it to pieces now?

Unhuh. that would be me. the invincible me. the me that thinks that flu shots, vitamin supplements and the likes are for the lame and the weak (of mind and spirit). Well, it sure as hell came back and bit me square in the ass. Im dying. Its all there folks - the pounding headache (im convinced that someone decided to throw a carnival on brain matter - this is one instance when sequins dont make up for jack shyte), my throat is on strike (work to rule i believe- its asking for better benefits..something about quitting the nic), my sinuses are veritably congested (the 401 during the height of rush hour would actually be more manageable) - so all in all folks - Im dying.

And in the event that was to occur - here's my booty divided.

R - my clothes, my journals, my surprising collection of 24kt goodies, my books, oh and my elephant
R2 - my cd's, my archived Oprah's, my post cards, my mac, my fantastic vintage gear, my shoes
Mom & Dad - my $$, land, the pleasure of knowing that i won't be contributing to appa's head of white hair
M - my car (with a bunch of payments), my midget on a necklace, my words, my bob marley collage
R's man R - my 2 tamil cd's (alaipayuthe and minnale), my version of the tirukkural and anything else you might want
S - the words i've painstakingly collected (some of them) - no fighting though.
Magic - any and all hidden alcohol or flasks you might find, my johnny walker silver cig case
B - my advertising mindswag - you still owe me that No Copy Advertising book remember?
and to everyone else - whatever you can fight away from the above mentioned folk...its all yours.

Gosh man, i should have more innit? at 27, i should/i should/i should. When will it stop? When will i look straight into the trepid eyes of my soul and tell her straight up: Whose time are you living on anyways biatch? No schedules. No rules. No past comparisons. Nothing. I have to come to terms with the fact that i will always take as long as i need- to accomplish things. I will always be open to the universe guiding me - at my own pace. i will take my time and enjoy this ride cuz god knows, the way i feel right now, i might spontaneously combust. And everyone else - they can entertain themselves elsewhere.

Writing Radio.
Is hard. intimidating. it leaves me shaking in my shoes and quivering for a release. Its thrilling because i get to write. Its terrifying because i have 30 seconds to introduce a product, an idea, entertain and persuade. I'm pretty sure i suck at it right now..im still learning and frankly, this is the hardest part of it all. I hope it gets better. Im sure it will. But in keeping with my pessimistic and largely defeatist attitude, i'll prolly never be able to master this beast. Keep those fingers crossed folks...i need an effin miracle.

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man, i can't believe its been so long since i've written on here. Through the combined workings of life, work and being ill - i've discounted this outlet and simultaneously realized just how much i need it. It's either my bittersweet meanderings for my own edification or a punching bag. Looking at the state of my culled cuticles...i'm chucking out the latter option for now.

in other news, Richard branson (CEO Virgin Mobile) pulled another stunt yesterday. Dressed as nothing less than a superhero, he swung off a tall building and was greeted by hot nurses. His manifesto: cure canada of the catch. A Roche production - a female driven jr team at the helm. This brings me hope. One day people. One day soon.

i've gotta tackle the radio beast now. outtie.

be blessed.