Out of sorts

and on unfamiliar ground, i find myself gently treading on unearthed half-truths.

M - gosh, i miss you dude. But I've given you the space you need to reclaim what is yours. And at the end of that journey, if you miss me and see me as yet another piece in that puzzle that is you - i will be waiting. Right here. In cyber-space: where life begins, ends and replays that cycle in different rhythmic patterns.

R's man R: from now on my three precious R's will be known as Rcubed. You will never be forgotten. And in my booty-splitting list i would like to also give you my sister - and dude, it doesn't get any sweeter than that.

My head is out of the clouds now. I apologize for the cheesy-overly dramatic invective from yesterday. For those who held my hand as I made my way through the maze - my undying gratitude is once again left at your doorstep. Thank you for being everything you guys are.

Relationships are finicky lil buggers - they shroud themselves deceptively letting you believe that things should be easy, breezy and beautiful. But reality escapes that format. Relationships are work. Tremendous amounts of back breaking, soul shaking, sweat inducing labour. And sometimes, love without the labour is just not enough.

Ten things I've discovered in the last 48 hours:

10. Expectations reek of last-nights memories - they are what they are but they refuse to guarantee anything.
09. It's the ones that love you that hurt you the most. There is no escaping pain when your life is filled with love.
08. Disappointment festers and it's far worse than ire. There is no erasing the memory of another gash on your ticker.
07. Loyal friends like loyal blogs put up with your ass through the best and worst of times.
06. Nobody owes you anything in this life. Regardless, of what they might believe.
05. Sacrificing you to be happy with someone else doesn't bode well for a relationship with longevity.
04. The only person who puts you above everything else - has to be you. Yet another condition of our debased humanity.
03. Regardless of popular belief, your heart does feel pain. That convulsing, sinking, airless feeling is but the indicator.
02. A difference of opinion/expectations doesn't kill the love you feel for someone - it either strengthens or weakens it.
01. Sometimes you have to believe that everything will be okay, as long as you've given it 150% of a fighting chance to survive. Oh and never settle - never ever ever ever settle.

Sometimes, i wish i could just curl into bed with my elephant and cry my spirit out. It's worn down folks, tired/exhausted and desperately in need of a break.

I wish..
i wish...

*sigh*

I really do wish this numbness would make a getaway.

Faith.

(its the only thing that keeps me going)