mildly bruised

but still edible.

That's how i feel about this adjustment period. I feel akin to a barely ripe mango in a box with several others on a wobbly old truck - travelling on the mangled back roads of Negombo.

It's amazing how much I've learned about myself in the last few weeks. The things that i'm willing to put up with, compromise on, stand steadfast on, fight for have all evolved over such a short period of time. It's like jana v.2007 just got an update and I'm still trying to integrate this new program into the standardized environment. By no means do i know it all - heck, on most days, i feel like i've barely crossed over into this new world. One foot nervously sits on the new side of this gateway while the other wiggles its toes and buries itself in the familiar.

I guess that's human nature - you tend to become attached to the markers of your life.

The soundtrack

placed in the parameters of my context - this still makes more sense than much else.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
-- Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie

Fergie!?!? I know! Who would've thunk that something she penned would ever make sense in my life. But it does - for now atleast.

Big, fat drops of rain left me drenched this morning and yet - there's serenity. Mostly because tonight is my night to go home - where the gap closes for a brief moment and I feel exactly as I should - wholesome yet me.

I wonder what I'll miss about Mikey this week. Last week I woke up on friday with a slight inkling that I might've missed his arm cushioning my head. It's one of the discoveries of marriage - I keep finding new ways that communicate this love.

It's thursday :)

Attached.

and adjusting.

This too will evolve. And that my dear friends is the only certainty as of 5:34pm on a wednesday evening.