courtesy of sibil.
And Niki - who tagged me. When I wasn't looking - my apologies honey - next time I will practice some much needed mindfulness.
--::--
Four jobs I have had: (oy vey, where do i start)
1. Chuck E Cheese: Hostess which was fun and games until I was forced into Chuck's slimy suit on one ill fated day - i learnt this: kids can be mean spirited brats.
2. RA during my university days for a crotchety old music professor who while a musical genius couldn't stay on top of his research for shiiit.
3. Wedding Events Coordinator : for a local catering company. My first encounter with bridezilla's - probably also the reason I have issues concerning planning my own wedding.
4. Copywhore for an ad agency - looooved it, adored it, ate, drank, lived, shat, breathed it until i woke up and realized it was slowly but surely killing me :(
Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Sound of Music (don't laugh)
2. Love Jones (when i believed i was the next big thing in spoken word)
3. Kannathil Mutham Ittal (an expose on the atrocities that befell tamil folk in SL)
4. 2-way tie- Garden State/Sideways
Four places I've lived :
1. Colombo, Sri Lanka
2. Malaysia
3. London, Englad
4. Toronto, Canada (since four is the limit on this thing)
Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Sex and the City (over and over and over again)
2. Project Runway (im such a fashion-whore)
3. Will & Grace ( old school all the way)
4. 2 way tie: Everybody hates Chris/ Family Guy
Four places I've been on vacation (in loosely translated terms):
1. India - nothing beats the heat and the raw bustle of life.
2. London, England (minus the perpetual visiting of relatives)
3. Montreal, QC (still love it regardless of how domestic it seems)
4. NYC, New York
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Roti and butter chicken
2. Sushi/sashimi/endamme
3. Cadbury cream eggs (what? they were a food group at one time)
4. All things sea foody - cuttlefish/crab/salmon/shark/lobster...yum.
Four places I'd rather be right now (also, preferrably alone or with Rama):
1. Ooty, Coonoor - life was easy piecy there
2. NY - overlooking central park
3. London - getting lost in bustling crowds
4. Colombo - sunshine, waves, white sand, a world of culture wafting through
Four sites I visit daily:
1. Google
2. Rogers
3. Blog/Floglines
4. Frugal Bride (okay almost every other day)
Four peeps I am tagging:
1. Pri-pri (she fascinates me)
2. Bears (cuz why not!)
3. Taby (cuz I'd love to know more)
4. Chet (i still don't know too much about him - but im sure he won't touch this with a 10 ft pole)
-::-
that's all folks.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Succinct
and just plain pithy.
sorry folks - this entry is sans pretty words, thought-provoking concepts or paradigm shifting ideologies...heck, it doesn't even contain the regular jana-ridden rant. This entry is merely a glorified thank you.
--:::--
A huge fan of grossly textured words, I am thrilled to drop some much needed literal screaming on this page. Rarely does it see oodles of joy and today, I want to congratulate it for keeping me sane.
You see, having to be accountable to myself in writing was most definitely a motivator in finding a job. Yup, notice how I slipped that in. I am (insert drumroll here) gainfully employed. Well, I will be gainfully employed as of Wednesday.
Maybe those pesky little disappointments that helped me ring the new year in were just humps of bad fortune I had to surf through – and while it was hard as hell, I am definitely grateful for having had the opportunity to nurture my elephantine skin.
So blog – I propose to continue using, abusing and leaving my mark upon you as often and as much as possible. Perhaps you will be that much needed companion as I crawl through planning weddings and planning forevers. Or perhaps that personal trainer who’ll undoubtedly kick my butt by wielding the threat of coming embarrassments.
Either way, you’ll be around and present which is yet another thing, I’m thankful for.
---:::---
Amen to the written word.
sorry folks - this entry is sans pretty words, thought-provoking concepts or paradigm shifting ideologies...heck, it doesn't even contain the regular jana-ridden rant. This entry is merely a glorified thank you.
--:::--
A huge fan of grossly textured words, I am thrilled to drop some much needed literal screaming on this page. Rarely does it see oodles of joy and today, I want to congratulate it for keeping me sane.
You see, having to be accountable to myself in writing was most definitely a motivator in finding a job. Yup, notice how I slipped that in. I am (insert drumroll here) gainfully employed. Well, I will be gainfully employed as of Wednesday.
Maybe those pesky little disappointments that helped me ring the new year in were just humps of bad fortune I had to surf through – and while it was hard as hell, I am definitely grateful for having had the opportunity to nurture my elephantine skin.
So blog – I propose to continue using, abusing and leaving my mark upon you as often and as much as possible. Perhaps you will be that much needed companion as I crawl through planning weddings and planning forevers. Or perhaps that personal trainer who’ll undoubtedly kick my butt by wielding the threat of coming embarrassments.
Either way, you’ll be around and present which is yet another thing, I’m thankful for.
---:::---
Amen to the written word.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Prepare yourself..
for honey pots and saccharine words. Enchanted forests and friends who don't stray too far. Today, i'm feeling a little like a yellow cuddly trooper and a lot less like the underdog.
word to the wise:stop reading and turn away right now if you find Pooh and his friends nauseating - because today I'm basking in 'The wisdom of the Pooh'.
--:::--
Dedicated to my dear good friend Rama because nothing could be truer than this sentiment:
"If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus 1 day so i never have to live without you". - Pooh (no duh)
--:::--
Dedicated to the me that hides behind the bravado:
"Remember: You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And Smarter than you think". - Christopher Robin-Winnie the Pooh
--::--
I suppose all will not be right in the world of dedications if this one didn't go out to my most favorite stranger (mikes):
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh," he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
--::--
And of course to my fam - this one is perrrfect because regardless of what Im doing, THIS is what i'm thinking:
“"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- Winnie the Pooh”
--::--
*sigh*
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
Pooh is right. For a bear with little brain he speaks big truths.
--::--
I too, as will all of you, get there some day :)
word to the wise:stop reading and turn away right now if you find Pooh and his friends nauseating - because today I'm basking in 'The wisdom of the Pooh'.
--:::--
Dedicated to my dear good friend Rama because nothing could be truer than this sentiment:
"If you live to be 100, I hope to live to be 100 minus 1 day so i never have to live without you". - Pooh (no duh)
--:::--
Dedicated to the me that hides behind the bravado:
"Remember: You're braver than you believe. Stronger than you seem. And Smarter than you think". - Christopher Robin-Winnie the Pooh
--::--
I suppose all will not be right in the world of dedications if this one didn't go out to my most favorite stranger (mikes):
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
"Pooh," he whispered.
"Yes, Piglet?"
"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you."”
--::--
And of course to my fam - this one is perrrfect because regardless of what Im doing, THIS is what i'm thinking:
“"I wonder what Piglet is doing," thought Pooh.
"I wish I were there to be doing it, too."
- Winnie the Pooh”
--::--
*sigh*
"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”
Pooh is right. For a bear with little brain he speaks big truths.
--::--
I too, as will all of you, get there some day :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Crazy in love...
or just plain crazy?
somehow - today feels like the latter.
--:::---
A sweetly melodic voice, amidst the collective noise of the everyday, infiltrates my childhood memories. It haunts me. I was never one for fairytale romances or traditionalist affairs - and yet, before I waltzed into adulthood, I too was privy to the thoughts of lil’ girls as explained by big ones.
‘Sugar and spice and everything nice’ – that’s how it all began. Those were the magic words that flung open a Pandora’s box of estrogenized dreams.
Helllooo pink ribbons and frilly frocks.
It was something my grandma used to constantly say while chunky little me hid behind headboards, on balcony’s and voraciously devoured inappropriate reading material. I think I was 4 when i cracked open my first harlequin (my Lit professor of a grandmother was quite the fan of verbal naughtiness) and while I didn't quite grasp the literal translations...i got the gist.
There was something that these girls made of sugar and spice and everything nice looked forward to as they aged - gracefully or otherwise. An inexplicable feeling that involved another person – another person preferably of the opposite sex. Bedtime stories of white knights and happily ever afters ended as I trod into the world of adult romance. And she used to reassure me that one day - he would arrive – my version of a knight on a brazen horse- and I would be crazy in love.
Quite frankly, I thought her to be quite crazy.
Crazy in love? Or crazy because of love?
Gosh, what did that mean to a five year old?
What did that even mean to a 52 year old? A woman who had created her romantic fantasies in her cerebrum while living a poor imitation of them in her reality. I couldn't project at 5. I didn't realize that once upon a time ( a long long long time ago ) she too was much like me. Young, hungry and unaffected by this thing called love.
Ahh...to be but on that plump lap bouncing with joy to the cadence of sunsets in sri lanka. I would give an arm, a leg and possibly half a torso to relive those moments. Perfection. Ironic isn't it? I barely knew what perfection meant and I was living it. These days, these days are a far cry from those yesteryears - where life was simple, easy and pure as newborn pudgesicles.
--
why the reminiscing? today for the first time, i sat down all by my lonesome to embark on those first steps towards planning a multi-cultural, bi-religious, dual-ethnic wedding. A wedding that would have painted joy in autumn colours on my grandma's face.
I look like her you know. R looks like mom. And lil R looks like my dads mom. But only I - of all our cousins made of the same dirt - only I resemble her. Just me. One in a sea of 6, in an ocean of countless faces - i look in the mirror and i see her. Yet, I can't even remember what she'd want for my wedding. And this pains me to no end. Searching for something more profound, I'm trying to turn back the hands of my memories but sadly to no avail.
It feels incomplete. Today, I felt incomplete. I missed her. I missed her hand stroking my hair, urging me to knot the end of her dupatta, reminding me to make a wish as the sun set, reveling in my newest imaginary adventure and assuring me that one day - prince charming will arrive - even for rambunctious me.
Funny, guess the memo didn’t make it all the way to adulthood. Perhaps we should’ve made the same wish with an identical knot at every sun set. Because sure - Prince charming came. And left. Then his brother rolled by. Followed by cousins, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances and heck, even neighbors. And yet - all those experiments and not one of them were ‘for me’. I seem to have sampled everyone’s prince charming and still hadn’t stumbled on the one earmarked with a ‘j’.
Except for this one guy that I initially didn’t even fathom in that capacity.
I wish she had met Mikey. I wish she had gotten a chance to read him by first glance. To have looked him up and down and assessed his self worth and his intentions by a simple smile. I wish she could tell me what I should be looking out for, educating me as I embark on this process, and making sure that I don't discount any traditions - cultural or familial.
My folks are waaay too easy going. I know, I’m a nutcase for complaining. But honestly, they don't care about rusty ole traditions that creek in annoyance and disturb the peace. They're trying not to be intrusive. Trying to let me garnish this wedding with my own personality...and honestly, i hate it.
I wish they would storm in and tell me what needs to be done (fear. sloth. or both?)She would've. The one who introduced me to words, who taught me how to extend my own boundaries, to have opinions and voice them as such - she wouldn't have watched out for my contemporary visions or feelings. Straight or sugar coated : that was her motto – if it was the latter, you were shit out of luck because even her sugar came with a tinge of screw face inducing sour.
And today i needed that. I needed someone who had a vision in their minds eye - i needed her jasmine scented skin comfortably resting on mine.
--
this post probably makes no sense at all to the average person - my apologies. it was waiting to be purged - unedited, unrevised, uncrafted. While it shames the writer in me – this nervously twitching rhetoric calms my irrational fear of the unknown. A whole lot of question marks exist between these lines and breathe between the spaces of these words.
Periods don’t just end sentences they act as springboards for new ones. Sleep is a necessity and perhaps with it – tranquility will arrive. Neatly packaged and organized. I pray for it to take the place of illogically placed thoughts born of childhood logic - a puzzle that I’m certain to struggle with until it’s released into book form.
Such is the art of being…me.
--:::---
See, i told you. Not crazy in love my dearies - just plain ole "certifiably" crazy.
somehow - today feels like the latter.
--:::---
A sweetly melodic voice, amidst the collective noise of the everyday, infiltrates my childhood memories. It haunts me. I was never one for fairytale romances or traditionalist affairs - and yet, before I waltzed into adulthood, I too was privy to the thoughts of lil’ girls as explained by big ones.
‘Sugar and spice and everything nice’ – that’s how it all began. Those were the magic words that flung open a Pandora’s box of estrogenized dreams.
Helllooo pink ribbons and frilly frocks.
It was something my grandma used to constantly say while chunky little me hid behind headboards, on balcony’s and voraciously devoured inappropriate reading material. I think I was 4 when i cracked open my first harlequin (my Lit professor of a grandmother was quite the fan of verbal naughtiness) and while I didn't quite grasp the literal translations...i got the gist.
There was something that these girls made of sugar and spice and everything nice looked forward to as they aged - gracefully or otherwise. An inexplicable feeling that involved another person – another person preferably of the opposite sex. Bedtime stories of white knights and happily ever afters ended as I trod into the world of adult romance. And she used to reassure me that one day - he would arrive – my version of a knight on a brazen horse- and I would be crazy in love.
Quite frankly, I thought her to be quite crazy.
Crazy in love? Or crazy because of love?
Gosh, what did that mean to a five year old?
What did that even mean to a 52 year old? A woman who had created her romantic fantasies in her cerebrum while living a poor imitation of them in her reality. I couldn't project at 5. I didn't realize that once upon a time ( a long long long time ago ) she too was much like me. Young, hungry and unaffected by this thing called love.
Ahh...to be but on that plump lap bouncing with joy to the cadence of sunsets in sri lanka. I would give an arm, a leg and possibly half a torso to relive those moments. Perfection. Ironic isn't it? I barely knew what perfection meant and I was living it. These days, these days are a far cry from those yesteryears - where life was simple, easy and pure as newborn pudgesicles.
--
why the reminiscing? today for the first time, i sat down all by my lonesome to embark on those first steps towards planning a multi-cultural, bi-religious, dual-ethnic wedding. A wedding that would have painted joy in autumn colours on my grandma's face.
I look like her you know. R looks like mom. And lil R looks like my dads mom. But only I - of all our cousins made of the same dirt - only I resemble her. Just me. One in a sea of 6, in an ocean of countless faces - i look in the mirror and i see her. Yet, I can't even remember what she'd want for my wedding. And this pains me to no end. Searching for something more profound, I'm trying to turn back the hands of my memories but sadly to no avail.
It feels incomplete. Today, I felt incomplete. I missed her. I missed her hand stroking my hair, urging me to knot the end of her dupatta, reminding me to make a wish as the sun set, reveling in my newest imaginary adventure and assuring me that one day - prince charming will arrive - even for rambunctious me.
Funny, guess the memo didn’t make it all the way to adulthood. Perhaps we should’ve made the same wish with an identical knot at every sun set. Because sure - Prince charming came. And left. Then his brother rolled by. Followed by cousins, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances and heck, even neighbors. And yet - all those experiments and not one of them were ‘for me’. I seem to have sampled everyone’s prince charming and still hadn’t stumbled on the one earmarked with a ‘j’.
Except for this one guy that I initially didn’t even fathom in that capacity.
I wish she had met Mikey. I wish she had gotten a chance to read him by first glance. To have looked him up and down and assessed his self worth and his intentions by a simple smile. I wish she could tell me what I should be looking out for, educating me as I embark on this process, and making sure that I don't discount any traditions - cultural or familial.
My folks are waaay too easy going. I know, I’m a nutcase for complaining. But honestly, they don't care about rusty ole traditions that creek in annoyance and disturb the peace. They're trying not to be intrusive. Trying to let me garnish this wedding with my own personality...and honestly, i hate it.
I wish they would storm in and tell me what needs to be done (fear. sloth. or both?)She would've. The one who introduced me to words, who taught me how to extend my own boundaries, to have opinions and voice them as such - she wouldn't have watched out for my contemporary visions or feelings. Straight or sugar coated : that was her motto – if it was the latter, you were shit out of luck because even her sugar came with a tinge of screw face inducing sour.
And today i needed that. I needed someone who had a vision in their minds eye - i needed her jasmine scented skin comfortably resting on mine.
--
this post probably makes no sense at all to the average person - my apologies. it was waiting to be purged - unedited, unrevised, uncrafted. While it shames the writer in me – this nervously twitching rhetoric calms my irrational fear of the unknown. A whole lot of question marks exist between these lines and breathe between the spaces of these words.
Periods don’t just end sentences they act as springboards for new ones. Sleep is a necessity and perhaps with it – tranquility will arrive. Neatly packaged and organized. I pray for it to take the place of illogically placed thoughts born of childhood logic - a puzzle that I’m certain to struggle with until it’s released into book form.
Such is the art of being…me.
--:::---
See, i told you. Not crazy in love my dearies - just plain ole "certifiably" crazy.
Monday, January 09, 2006
This year...
will be THE year of the jana - where resolutions are replaced by mini-activities that i plan to explore and hopefully accomplish in the next 356 days of this year.
You see, those who know me, know well that the mere word 'resolutions' triggers this rebel spirit into formulating secret ways of cheating, sabotaging or flat out breaking them. So this year, i refused to waste my energy on making said resolutions. They've been replaced by 'mini-activities to explore/accomplish' - a fancy to do list inspired by the infamous scorps1027.
--:::---
10 Mini-Activities for 0-6.
1. Write more.
2. Get fit - physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
3. Be more mindful. (thath-thavam: to know thyself)
4. Talk less, listen more (same affliction)
5. To treat myself as I do the ones I love.
6. Tie a saree by myself (sans 3,000 safety pins)
7. Get involved in a not for profit activity - something communal.
8. Embrace every opportunity to spend time with the ones I love through this wedding planning process.
9. Reconnect with my girlfriends and apologize to them profusely for my self-afflicted absence
10. Quit pretending to have a thick skin and instead to actually grow one.
----:::----
Bring it on 06 - cuz you ain't seen nothin' yet :)
(she bravely said before she was devoured by the storm...)
You see, those who know me, know well that the mere word 'resolutions' triggers this rebel spirit into formulating secret ways of cheating, sabotaging or flat out breaking them. So this year, i refused to waste my energy on making said resolutions. They've been replaced by 'mini-activities to explore/accomplish' - a fancy to do list inspired by the infamous scorps1027.
--:::---
10 Mini-Activities for 0-6.
1. Write more.
2. Get fit - physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.
3. Be more mindful. (thath-thavam: to know thyself)
4. Talk less, listen more (same affliction)
5. To treat myself as I do the ones I love.
6. Tie a saree by myself (sans 3,000 safety pins)
7. Get involved in a not for profit activity - something communal.
8. Embrace every opportunity to spend time with the ones I love through this wedding planning process.
9. Reconnect with my girlfriends and apologize to them profusely for my self-afflicted absence
10. Quit pretending to have a thick skin and instead to actually grow one.
----:::----
Bring it on 06 - cuz you ain't seen nothin' yet :)
(she bravely said before she was devoured by the storm...)
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