thirty two.

i can't believe i'm so old.

here are thirty two things i'd like to remember when i look back on this blog - as i'm sure i will, since i'm slowly starting to lose my mind. This is of course a random list.

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1. Love is hard work. Whoever told me that love is easy and uncomplicated needs to stop lying. Really, stop lying, right now. In my world, any relationship with real love, the weighty kind, involves tons of work – as it should. That’s why the older I got, the smaller my inner circle became. And that invisible line between the ‘people I know’ and the ‘people I love’ became more obvious than it was before.

2. Sisters are the world’s best invention. First they were my playmates. Then my arch rivals. Then the *itches that stole my shit. Then my partners in crime. My shoulders to lean on. My security blankets. My besties. And still, the only people that can paint a smile on my face, when I’m at my coldest.

3. It is always darkest before the dawn. So, hold on even when you feel like the day might never break.

4. Those after-school specials are right – dreams can come true. The only caveat – you have to make them come true. Yup, there’s that thing called ‘work’ again.

5. What goes around – always comes right back around. I remind myself of that every time, the evilminime, wants a moment to shine.

6. Family is a state of mind. So never let the world tell you that blood is thicker than water. (although on rare occasions it can be)

7. Marriage is easy. Love is hard work. Being in love and being married is a rough combination. At the best of times it’s like walking a tight rope. It’s hard to remember the sparkle and shine when you are caught up in the drag of everyday life. My reminder: that swoon-inducing, melt-worthy smile. And of course it helps when you marry someone that perfectly integrates themselves into your perspective and continues to sprinkle all sorts of goodness into your life on a daily basis. I am so lucky to have found him. (okay, i just mini barfed - moving on)

8. You can and should do what you love. Life is too short to be stuck in a career that you can’t stand.

9. Time flies. All those days when I used to complain about how every minute felt like a lifetime – yea, those days are gone. Time is on fast forward now. Serves. Me. Right.

10. Friends are always more important than money.

11. Standards are a good thing. Knowing what you want helps you navigate through a world of a trillion mediocre offers.

12. Always use your internal moral compass to gauge your life. What the aunties will think and say, should never determine your actions. It took me a long time to learn that.

13. Being brown is just like being a girl. It’s a constant uphill battle of trying to figure out how things work and where things fit. So don’t overthink it – just embrace it. On some days, I still watch the clash of expectations from the sidelines: c’est la vie.

14. H20 rocks.

15. It’s okay to spend on life’s frills, especially if it helps you have a better day.

16. Invest in yourself. And not just financially.

17. I’ve learned that I have to put myself on the ‘to do’ list. And of course, I must remember to be kind to myself.

18. My parents are amazing people. The older I get, the more I realize that as I experience them in different capacities.

19. Books used to be my entertainment – now they are my escape.

20. Words are the next best thing to my family in this life.

21. See the world when you can. Grab every opportunity. Because sometimes putting things off for tomorrow is akin to taking it off the list.

22. Create a bucket list. Or a five-year list. I re-look at mine every year to re-evaluate things. I learned this from the goal-oriented & accomplishment-driven hubs.

23. Be thankful for everything you have. Including the half assed pinky toe your dad gave you. I am.

24. Don’t ever get peer pressured into doing something that you aren’t ready to do. Wearing neon yellow tights and making babies should only happen when and if you are ready for them.

25. Your past will always leak into your present – and hence your future. So come to terms with it – because it NEVER goes away.

26. Learning how to “time out” yourself is HUGE. Especially with my quick to flare temper.


27. Laughter is a pretty good medicine. However, a good cry is sometimes the BEST medicine. So go ahead, have a good weep. It’s good for your skin too!

28. Love yourself. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget that.

29. Being a female is a wonderful journey. Sure you get your period. Sure you have glass ceilings to deal with. Sure you have to deal with loads of suffocating expectations – but at the end of the day – being a woman can be a lovely experience. All you have to do is be yourself.

30. I heart my mom now more than I ever have before. I understand her on a much deeper level, ever since I became a wife. And I’m certain that all of it will change and grow if and when I become someone’s mother. She is strong, courageous and has an incredibly resilient spirit. I hope I grow up to be her one day.

31. Life. Is. Precious. And is oftentimes found in the small moments tucked away behind and in-between milestones. Celebrate those. Actually, celebrate something every day – being alive should be a beautiful thing. I’m still learning this.

32. Believe in something – a higher power, in living a life filled with hope, in being open to the energy of the world, in being a good person, in finding your purpose in life. Whatever it may be, make sure – You. Believe. In. Something.

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the biggest lesson i've learned so far is this: take a chance. i don't think i'd have most of the things i do right now if i hadn't jumped out of my comfort zone and tried something that scared the living daylights out of me. Case in point, getting married, switching careers and so many little things in between.

ohkay - time to go start my big ole birthday. the next post will be about the three things i hope to accomplish this year. small goals people - small goals. old people can only handle little morsels of change. or so i've been told.

midway

and still going strong.

the last 14 days have been a test of will power. Some people are put through the wringer on Survivor - my amazonian test is the mall. Mannequins, store signs, displays, racks - it's all a trap. And i'm speedy like a super mario or two, whizzing past them.

In all honesty, the last two weeks have been brutal. I've had 4 dinner get-togethers, a bridal shower and a birthday soiree to attend. This involved multiple trips to the malls to procure things for other people. I'm a firm believe in always taking a token of appreciation for the generous host - so the last 14 days have seen me traipsing through the mall on many an occasion. Anyone who has watched the Shopaholic - knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

I don't know if this month was a bad one to pick to try said experiment on myself. After all, it's a birthday-heavy month and is also one that is usually filled with lots of events - thanksgiving, diwali....that's a lot of time spent visiting! I've discovered that so far it hasn't felt as brutal as I thought it would. After all, I did get to buy loads of things - even if it was for other people - it still fulfilled the urge to shop.

I think i should do this in the new year. Maybe in january? November is impossible - after all christmas is right around the corner. And December - well holiday parties always deserve a new outfit or two or ten.

I am however slightly impressed with myself. Sure i've been drooling all over my keyboard wishing i could take that virtual wishlist and make them welcome additions to the wardrobe - but all in all, i haven't bought myself a single solitary thing.

It's a lot like how I deal with hot men these days. Lookie lookie? Absolutely. Touchie Touchie? Hellll no - cuz my broken inside will then wish I could take it home.

I think I've realized that maybe I do have a little bit of self control after all.

:)

work on the other hand has been INSANE. retail accounts keep our creative guys grumpy and the account folk jumping through fire breathing hoops. at the end of day, sure they aren't fun (on a daily basis) but they certainly keep us all running in circles.

bleh.

zilch

zip. zero.

that's how much i plan on spending this month on the frills that oftentimes clutter but cocoon my life. Yup, you heard me right. I'm going to implement a shopping ban for the month of October. Talk about idealistic aspirations eh? I can't make it past a block without my money practically fighting its way out of my wallet and into a retail bag of some sort. I am THAT kid that can justify and rationalize any purchase - i just love the thrill of the hunt and the pleasure of the find.

In fact, on a recent 'sightseeing' trip to NYC with 30 of my closest family members - I spent the equivalent of 2 mortgage payments on some of my favorite friends - you might know them - jcrew, coach, michae kors, guess, nine west. Yup. I got so much stuff that I could have actually bought myself a ticket to Italy for a holiday instead. And this was the damage spread over less than 5 hours of shopping - without any MAJOR purchases. Now, THAT is ridiculous even for a retail-a-holic like myself. So this month, my birthday month, i've decided to shop my own closet.

I recently realized that i still have a good 30% of my wardrobe with tags on it. And reading the Economist yesterday - a wave of guilt washed over me because i am part of the generation that just has too much. it was definitely a familiar feeling. i mean, its the souvenir that keeps giving for a few months after any trip i take to india or sri lanka. i realize just how little some people have and i leave guilt ridden for all the wasteful clutter that i amass in my life. i mean i bought a beret at jcrew for $45.00 and thought it was a great deal - that's close to 5000rupees in SL. WTF. And knowing me - i will wear it twice and then lose interest in it. So this month, i am going to hope that i can find the will power i desperately need to learn a crucial lesson in my life.

so i will not be purchasing any clothing items in the month of october. or shoes. (sigh) or books. (faint) or accessories for myself or the house. or knick knacks of any sort. I will give myself $100 for the month (gulp) to cover lunches (this is a challenge because the avg lunch in my area is like $25) and that's all. (choke + gulp)

re-reading this, i'm starting to feel faint. perhaps i should alert my co-workers of this fact so they can check in on me occasionally.

since the ban started yesterday - here's a little something from october one.

yesterday i walked by a store window and saw THE most adorable michael kors bag - and my heart literally skipped two beats. michael kept whispering my name seductively, pleading with me to just run my fingers over the smooth trim, lose myself in supple leather... and i had to force my feet to keep walking along their original path. in fact, one of my friends had to physically drag me away as i left remnants of drool on the once clear glass window. she also had to hold my hand all the way to the coffee shop - yup, that's how i need to roll. first a hand, next a leash.

The one indulgence I have allowed myself is the $4/day coffee i have (it's a necessity in my book) - after all, I said i was trying to be mindful - not lose my mind.

so stay tuned for more episodes from the shopping ban.

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hmm, someone just dropped off a 25% off special coupon to the GAP. i swear the world is out to torture me.