Strife.

Weddings are apparently these joyous fun filled occasions that halo a milestone. Apparently.
Hence the hoopla to make it ab-so-lute-ly perfect. Everyone turns into a valley girl when it's their turn.
I cerebrally get that.

But come on people! Must it really turn into a three ringed circus?

Memories of T's wedding gives me the chills. Lord, I have never travelled from Pickering to Etobicoke that many times in my life as i did that summer. Practically every weekend was spent at her house. Every conversation was about her wedding. Every minute was spent dealing with the minutia of her impending nuptials. I almost lost my mind that summer. I think i was happier than she was to see her get married on the big day. And that's when R& I sighed in relief. Yes, no more wedding speak. It truly rivals babyspeak in its atrocity. Gawd, like fingernails on freshly wiped chalk board.
But karma has a way of kicking back the past. And now, i'm stuck in a tortilla of the same ish with a handful of weddin- happy peepz.

I’ve got three important weddings this summer. Well four if you count the one that I can’t financially afford to attend. And quite frankly after the bridezilla’s I’ve encountered and the groorilla’s I’m forced to work with, I’m about ready to give up on getting married.

According to Dad and M, people transmute into these crazed beings once its their turn to hit the alter. The pressure of perfection drives them up the wall, into a cocoon and inevitably gets their too big heads stuck up their behinds. And that’s understandable, I suppose. But quite frankly, I wonder if people truly realize that a wedding is just one day. One measly day. A day that most people will barely remember what with being inebriated and all.

So the question is then, what is more important the wedding or the marriage?

As simple as the answer may seem, I don’t think that it is as straightforward as it needs to be. Because obviously, if it was common knowledge then people wouldn’t find themselves entrenched in the drama of their own weddings or the weddings of friends. They’d be more focused on celebrating the impending union as opposed to the big ass party.

A few things that I’ve noticed:
• The grooms often try to avoid the eye of the storm. The storm usually being their soon to be wives and their larger than life dreams of a perfect wedding day.
• In this country, a large number of marriages end in divorce. So one would think that people would be wary of spending heinous amounts of money, undergoing unduly stress and generally be lax about the commotion of throwing a fabulous “talk of the town” wedding. Nope, nothing of that sort though. The stat doesn't seem to matter. Cuz i guess inside every cynic is an optimist that believes in forever. :) Okay, now im truly ranting. When i was a law school contender, i used to justify my un-hinged state to relatives by spewing witty stats about the divorce rate in the country. And then i'd flip the script on them and say something completely childish like "now, you wouldn't want me to get divorced would you?"...gawd i was so naive. People don't care. They just want another wedding they can attend, chat through, get completely wasted at and bitch about after the fact. Yup, that would be a sliver of bitterness peeking through the veneer.
• Being brown means doubling the stress of the planning process. Consider the 300 people you’re roped into inviting, the hideous traditional “mores” that one’s culture subscribes to and thereby is obliged to follow, the seemingly unnecessary “events” that one is forced into hosting/attending…it all adds up to a serious case of quick to implode dementia.
• Does anyone want a massive wedding? Okay, apart from R and the likes of her generation raised on rice and dreams of dum dum dum – one is forced to question the logic that drives this wedding business forward – cuz that’s what it is – a money making business. From the mandaap to the three gazillion sari’s – everyone is out to make a quick buck. The laws of capitalism facing off with the horned being of over-consumption that’s rife in our cultures. Oy-vey.
• The list can certainly go on but im gonna quit while im ahead. Oh and honestly, if I ever get egotistical enough to believe that a choice of flowers can make or break an event, please bitch slap me and remind me of this post.

Urgh weddings!
Apparently, when its my turn, I’ll understand.

Although for my sanity, I certainly hope I don’t.